A very very pleasant day with good fun and laughter. I'm worn down by the end of the day because I cannot sleep last night, and I cannot sleep after morning prayers. Like whaat. Haha I played Score on the DVD player in the living room. The bass, they come ALIVE.


It was raining boys&girls when I was out of house. Trudging down the soggy soggy pathway, it isn't easy for a vertically-challenged girl.

Anyway had lunch at Bistro Deli with Rachel and Huiqi and it's as hilarious as ever. Clumsiness in abundance (for Huiqi's case only), getting silly and typically high. Quite a sight seeing Rachel like a pregnant lady, oops I mean girl-with-super-bad-cramps. We took advantage of the free flow of baguette, and just... eat alot and be merry (not for Rachel who was moaning like a sex queen). Cabbed our way to school due to the pour and their lateness.



I managed to finish my marking in school while the juniors did lame-looking pt. Haha. Played some taidee with meepok and CJ/Mima. Mr Tan and the meepok urged me to join the game in the D, which I invariably did. I had to squeeze my poor toes into Huiqi's one-size-smaller shoes please. It died haha. Fun to play in the rain, not that practical to play in... U2 pants, one-size-smaller shoes and strapless bra. Really really.



There's this year one, Yiqi. I love love love that enthusiasm of hers. She runs everywhere for the ball! Oh ya then the meepok suddenly became concerned and kept asking if the shoes were ok for me and if I want to switch. Oh well, in the end we went barefooted. Elf slapped my ear while chasing after the ball. So evil! My pants were just soggy and so uncomfy to wear, but for the sake of a game, oh well. Then the elf kicked the ball straight into Rachel's (a year one) face. Like phoar. I felt her pain. OUCH. Oh ya, that Rachel also have that PHOAR enthusiasm. Always around picking up the ball haha. I hope they have more of these people. The team's going to be kickass.



Hmmm really enjoyed the time but I miss the company of my batch. Sigh. Bus-ed in 72 to Tamp shivering in the cold aircon. Weird why SBS buses have their aircon full blast on cold days and practically off them in those sultry hot ones. Bit disappointed when Des told me Vintage is outofstock. But I'm very excited with my Tiger. Soo soo PRETTY.


Now I have a blister on my left leg. Mr Alan Tan asked me to play next week but I'm not ready for it. Not at all. I pant and wheeze after five mere minutes of running. =.=

Tired but happy. One more day to enjoy while I can before the results make me crash back down to Earth.

ofblack&white
9:28 PM

ofblack&white
11:04 PM

Good morning (or rather afternoon)! Advantages of no school is of course waking up late. Haha! Though it felt like there's a whole Iban tribe inside my head doing the rain dance. Thump THUMP.


Quite a nice start for the day, as you may have perceived from the ever cheerful tone. Besides having a humongous pest of a brother. My God he is 21 years OLD and still bugs me with the tricks and lame jokes of a primary schooler.


Yesterday was one of the most, mentally-draining day of 2oo7. Moral of the story: Never EVER aspire to teach primary schoolers (especially those who ask the same question for more times than I could count with my fingers and toes put together). Mon Dieu! I was on the verge of crying but thank goodness Mum's there to talk to. And what can she say? "Oh, now you know what I went through teaching you and your brother." T.T

Maybe I'm not a good enough teacher, maybe that's why they ask a billion times? I should really explain and phrase my words in simpler terms the next time I'm to teach them. It is really different from teaching a 16 year old. Sigh I'm not that cut out but I'm willing to give my all in this teaching stint.


Anyway today's Tuesday! Which equates to HALF-PRICE DAY at Gelare. Will drag the Mum there after tuition, she likes it too. Yeehaw. Something to look forward to I suppose.



In the meantime stuffing myself with all the Walls and Haagen Daz ice-cream my dad bought (which is like a year's supplies. No Naz you can't come over, I know you like them too) it wouldn't be any wonder I'd be as round as the moon someday. Should join Tisya Aqil and Nur for badminton the next time they book the courts.


I managed the faro already! Boy my fingers are all cut from the cards. ((:


Going to return my (way overdue) books. Soon I should think.
In the meantime:
Good Day!



Seventh:
Innocent victims for merciless crimes
Fall prey to some madman's for impulsive designs.


Octave:
Step after step,
We try controlling our fate
When we finally start living it's become too late.

ofblack&white
1:26 PM

I had a dream in a dream last night. 'Tis quite peculiar for me, for it was quite a well, in other words, a long dream. But when I awoke it was just half hour past. A fitful night for me, waking at odd intervals.


I'm fuming with frustration trying to learn the faro shuffle. Cursing in the room myself, replaying the videos to see the finger positions, angles, yadayada. It's so annoying to not get it. Reminds me of Math.

Talking about subjects and long-forgotten studies, Doomsday is this Friday, March the Second. I told myself oft that there's nothing to worry, since I've made plans for both courses (One, if I can get into uni. Two, if I can't get into uni). I don't know. Somehow or another I've got a feeling I'm disappointing myself yet again.

Disappointment is a norm to everyone, but it had made a rather distinct prescence in my life. Something I could live without really. Naz did say that no TKsian she'd ever known couldn't make it to the university. Then again I told her, there's always a first to everything.
And I think I am about to break the record. Blah. The very thought of standing infront of Ms Huda and looking into her disappointed face is painful.



Happy to announce that the parents are footing the cost for the March Trip. Hurrah! A much lesser blow to my account. I've been spending like water these days and it is very very bad.


Ok. I have to do the laundry and off for tuition soon. It is nice to be home alone warbling whatev songs that the iPod plays, without anyone to tell me it's not nice (yes that I have to admit). Maybe print some 4R photos for my wallet. (:


Fifth:
Tortured insanity
A smothering hell
Try to escape but to no avail

Sixth:
The calls of admirers
Who claim they adore
Drain all your lifeblood while begging for more.

ofblack&white
12:16 PM

A nap. I managed to catch forty winks myself in the afternoon. Wow! Haha it's like such a pain to have difficulty sleeping that being able to sleep effortlessly is a joy.


I learnt that cats are colour blind. And that ants are blind. Interesting facts no? Arabic conversation was quite hilarious. My Arab teachers so far are just downright peculiar, and this one is no exception.


Yesterday I had a funny convo with my mum again and she was crammed into my small single. I was pretending to cry and said there's no space for both of us HAHA. Then my dad shouted for my brother and I was wondering, from the frantic sound of it, it was as if the ceiling came in. But then, it's only a cockroach =.=



I didn't have breakfast before I went for class so I was God-mode hungry. Then my mum didn't allow me near ANY food yet because she haven't finished cooking the food. It was a funny sight for her to see her daughter rolling on the kitchen floor moaning and pretending to die and cry of hunger. Chilli crabs, oatmeal prawns and some soup teeming with yucky veggies. Urgh.


It is going to rain tonight. And I spent an obscene amount on cards yet again. Hope Deslim will be free to pass it to me tomorrow. I bought for normal Rider decks (two blue two red), a Bicycle Tiger and the Vintage Series 1800! I'm very excited to see the last one. Oh the joy!


Third:
We try to break through
Long to connect
Fall on deaf ears with failed muted breath


Forth:
Loyalty, trust, faith and desire
Carries love through each darkest fire.

ofblack&white
5:40 PM

Woke up groggy and bleurgh headache. My stomach was as empty and hollow as Paris Hilton's head so parents and I head down to the elf's seocnd home (Geylang) for a lunch of chicken rice. Seriously, I will only eat chicken rice from that stall because it's the most bearable chicken rice around (besides my grandma's of course).


I was dragged to Suntec City and had a look around. Mini bicycle fair, yadayada. I've gotten myself a pair of BABY BLUE Reebok slippers for quite a bargain. No it's not on purpose because the pink and green one doesn't have my size ) : Mum offered a bag but surprisingly I didn't want any. HAHA.


We shopped at Carrefour (however you spelled it ya). Cheeses and bread, mon Dieu, rows of them! Haha we grabbed a couple of ciabattas and raisin rolls and whatev else. Yay to that. I love bread and cheeses. We had Starbucks after and I saw a bung behind us with her girlfriend. I pointed that out to my mum and she seemed quite shocked, though she uses the term 'butch' well enough.


I'm home now marking stacks of books and worksheets. Haha, I know how frustrating it is please, with students scoring 9 out of 20 for Listening Comprehension. Listening Compre! My teacher used to threaten us to get at least 15 for it. If I'm their teacher every student who gets less than ten will get a packet of cotton buds for their ears.
HA fat hope because I haven't any dreams of becoming a language teacher.


Ellusionist came out with a very very nice deck; Vintage Series 1800. Coolios!


Root:
Our deadly sins feel his mortal wrath.
Remove all obstacles from our path.

Second:
Asking questions
Search for clues
The answer's been right in front of you.

ofblack&white
6:37 PM

I've just collected Dream Theater: Score, the 20th Anniversary World Tour and one word that the combination of 26 letters could just barely describe it is PHENOMENAL. It's like, WOW. Haha mind-fucking-blowing concert, with songs dating back from 1985 like Another Won to the recent Octavarium.


I sat here since 7 pm, with bare water breaks, dinner, prayers and I am nearly finished it. It's four fucking hours haha the longest DVD I owned, and they pwn you please.
In the second set of setlist the Octavarium Orchestra played with them and they're like, awesome! They played Six Degrees Of Inner Turbulence too! The whole thing without any 'outside' song inserted. 40 minutes of pure bliss. ((:

Octavarium has to be the winner, with the flute and continuum solo at the beginning. OH MY GOD pawned! That is a 24 minutes song and it's pure pure aaahh no words could describe. And LaBrie's voice is perfect for this concert ((:


AND JOHN MYUNG IS AS HOT AND SEXY AS EVERR. Best bassist and he's sooo melting. Ya I know wtf english but I'm not bothered. Like like, wow. Haha his solo in Metropolis isn't as loud as the one in Live At Budokan, but still goood. The second disc on the documentary and stuff got him talking. And it's quite rare for him to talk.

AH my most worth it fifty dollars. It is so GOOD I cannot describe it anymore.



Anyway my day is funny. My grandad was in a room pulling his underwear out from his sarong, quite discreetly of course but Tisya had to go "EEE NO SHAME AH DATUK" which prompted him to turn his back on us (we saw him from the room diagonally across) and flashed us his butt. HAHA I never knew my grandad had such a sense of humour.


Went TM with the two most annoying primary sixers and it's quite a laugh. Literally rolling on the floor and making such asses out of ourselves. Good clean fun and it cost me some too LOL.



AH DREAM THEATER ARE GOD-MODE MUSICIANS, I LOVE.

Good night.

ofblack&white
11:26 PM

Goodness now I know where I inherited my oddness. My mum knew I slept when my dad's alarm went last night (morning, rather). So she called up and said,

"Adik, you want supper after I end work? I'm very lazy to overtime today so let's go somewhere."


Mon Dieu! Do you know what time she ends work? Two freaking am! Haha the prospect of Starbucks at airport is alluring but I don't know if my body's up for it. And whoever wakes up at night to GO get food?! The most is that we call in food(like Macs, its 24/7).


Anyway just for the sake of dispelling boredom at it's zenith. I need new movies to satisfy my ridiculously short attention span (though not as bad as *coughcoughahem*). Free-writing provides an avenue to release the pent-up 'creativity' (I don't even know if I have that) and it's quite a joy to write silly things yet still people (like YOU) read it. Haha.


Ok here's what. I have a remedy for something! Spread your fingers out like an octopus sent by Davey Jones (ignore the last if you don't watch POTC). Then clench all the fingers save the index. Done? Good. Now raise the fist with the odd finger sticking out, point to yourself and say this, loudly, solemnly,

"I don't think I'm stupid. I know I am."

Done? Congrats! You're cured of stupidity. The first step of curing a problem is of course, acknowledging it. And you did it right by doing so.



HAHA (laugh to humour me please. It's polite to do so).
Maybe Brightcity sees too much of me that I considered reverting to my neglected LJ, where my posts snuggled comfily under Friends (meaning if you're not a Friend, you don't have access to reading it).


Ironic I know, a blog is of course a personal space that's public, out screaming for attention. But somehow the idea of people I'm not exactly... fond of reading is nauseating, don't you think?



I think I should go for coffee.



All we find, reject our minds.
Don't you wonder why?

ofblack&white
1:02 AM

Remember past two posts, when I said Rachel Wong Shu Li needed to be sellotaped sealed? I changed my mind. Her mouth needed to factory-sewn SHUT, with all the elephant glues available. =.= Die.


I finally opened my own personal account, with no parents to hide the book from me lest I grow wild like weeds and start to withdraw by the thousands. Mum put in 500$ for starters for me. I pray that she'll forget all about it and not remind me to repay.


Yong Tau Fu at Changi Road is bliss. Like heaven in a bowl. I love love that place alot. halfway during tuition I probably freaked Vincent out by mumbling that I needed coffee, badly. Ay, sleeping at 5 do have their consequences.


I saw the most prettiest creature at AMK ave 10. There's this superbly clean white PRETTY OMG SEXY cat that I felt like marrying it. But well, Singapore does not allow homosexual marriages (the cat's a She), neither does it allow inter-species weddings. But really really a beautiful cat. Haha I was talking to it for a good five minutes and surely residents thought I went loco.


Truth be known, I was quite nervous just now hence me blabbering. And there's the oddness to it. Haha acting like the monsoon didn't occur but it's quite trying.
At least the sun shines now.

ofblack&white
8:54 PM

HI. Sleepless yet again. Look at the hour my God. Save me. I don't know how to survive two tuition sessions now.


Random thing 1: I'm having midnight calls and is quite fun haha. Delirious somebody yakking without any point at all. "Thin Line. Stupid Thin Line. Stupid Bloody Thin Line." Whalao next time remember the details of previous conversation so you could sleep at least!


Random thing 2: Stupid Zhong refused to eat oranges with me just now because she feels paiseh(shy?). But she peeled it for me. Like dumb no? If you peel it, people already assume you're eating it. =.=


Random thing 3: I WANT TO MESSAGE NAZ RIGHT NOW AND SEE WHAT SHE REPLY. (eg. My mum's cleaning the house right now. That was at 2 am)


Random thing 4: I'm rewatching Goong of all shows right now. It was because I was annoyed my Saw III couldn't work. So is my Night At The Museum. I settled for Apocalypto with dinner. Less than five minutes after the movie played, I remembered the opening scene (which was a hog being killed in the most painful manner with blood oozing. And the tribesmen gave the balls to another tribesman). I decided to not waste my dinner and watched something mellow. LOL.


Ok good things come in fours. Haha Naz just replied with a most civilised message. Damn. Just when I wanted some laughter to spice up the life.


Ah mon Dieu. I have a coeur solitaire. Anyway I pressed a jumble of keys and got this --> ☺
Cute huh.

ofblack&white
4:40 AM

Rachel's mouth ought to be duct-taped seal. Uncannily, what she said came true and it annoyed the hell out of me. My heart went pitter-pattering at the thought of being caught.
I'm seriously going to spank you Rachel Wong Shu Li, even if you just passed your BTT. =.=


Just now, an unknown lady gave my four oranges. I don't know about significance but isn't four a bad number for the Chinese? (And here I am loving that digit) Maybe she's cursing me to die. I can't say no because she's practically shoving it into my already runny nose. Weird.


(What's weirder is the fact that Angie is actually working)
Jokes aside.



I thought of giving us one more chance today but like I told you, what I received was more disappointment.


Haha seriously no idea where everything is heading and as usual I thought of running away like I did with others. Strangely I hadn't, not even after the letdown. Maybe after talking to a naggy grandmother (Kat) last night I realised that there's something more important than all the ego in the world:
kinship.

Or maybe I am starting to (ok violins/cheesy music please) miss all the idiotic messages and phonecalls and nonsensicalities. I really don't know whatev but one thing I'm very sure right now is that
I want to make amends and set things right.

ofblack&white
10:37 PM

Wow. Talk about bugs. The flu bug hit me so suddenly I hadn't time to recoil. First thing I woke up in the morning my nose was running full throttle and I went fuck not again.


I was up by ten and met him downstairs to bother fat cats while waiting for the princess to come. Waited for her to shower then had lunch behind our house, with me introducing to fatcat1, fatcat2 the traumatising black male cat, the chinese cat, and also the White Man's Burden cat. Quite a hooha at the voids, singing long-forgotten songs to whoever was on the line with Naz.


Popped in The Ring 2 into the player. My army boy's a coward. I don't know what he does there, but he sure is scared. Subtitles for the hearing impaired, hence us with sound effects. I swear my bro thinks us loco (crazy in Spanish). Reetha had to call near the end for Math questions. Went for cup noodles and junk food. A light cheesy show Art Of Seduction to end a cosy day. Hot actor and actress please.


Cabbed Naz to Kembangan, Ham to Sengkang and me to AMK. The driver must've thought he won lottery haha.




Normality's the word, and what I'm finally granted with.

ofblack&white
11:04 PM

I had a groggy morning. Who wouldn't if you had a sleepless night and had to be up by nine the next? Felt like Bambam hitting me hard with his stone club.

I met the cheebs today. I had to spend 'quality' time with the goat, since Qis was an hour late. Mat was OTT with her lateness. "Eh cb I'm the only one amongst us three whose allowed to be late lah knncb", says he. It's damn funny and familiar again; "Fuck lah Ili you're suppose to be helping me not siding with the mofo cb lah". It's been a while since I've been exposed to such... environment. They never fail to put a megawatt smile on my face.

Oh. Mab's working at Starbucks so I got a peek at her. Honestly even if we speak online very oft I never actually talked to her or see her properly. Got a pleasant surprise when she squeezed me from the back. Someone's looking pretty as always haha!


Went over to Naz to bother her life away then home. Pretty fireworks that got me happy that I have to share the joy (with Ham apparently. I asked if he can hear them booming but he said I'm all the way at Sengkang how to? LOL ya I know dumb question).


Overdosage of stupidity in the afternoon left me high but it dissipated out as quickly as it came. Haha and here I am thinking of possiblities and what ifs.


Will pray to have a better day for tomorrow, the day after, and many days after! (:

I'm out to freak myself out for the night with Saw III I reckon. Haha maybe sleep will come as fast as bees to honey.

ofblack&white
12:54 AM

Retail therapy at its best. It kind of helps to tame the innerturmoil.



This is my latest collection, except that the face is black and so is the circle-wircle thingers.


Must stop this splurge. But if I do I'll probably be bitter again. And spitting venom at the next person or whatever. This weekend cost me more than 200$ and it is not good. If anything, I would rather lock myself up (and probably my wallet) and scream out the poison inside, instead of this unhealthy spendthriftness. But I do not have an outlet, not any good ones so I haven't a choice.


Sigh. I hope meeting the Cheebs would do wonders to the straying mind. It's been a mother long time and I really have to meet them before I go crazy. And immerse myself in work so to be busied.


Will probably have Naz over for the night tomorrow and the us Four will have movie-gathering over at mine the day after.

ofblack&white
9:49 PM

Fossil wallet while we shopped around. Whored Topshop U2 the likes and we got a


Hunk-wannabe out of army. After (also) whoring the camera we unleashed two


closeted models from Police and Army respectively. I love their shirts please. It's striped.

Down the escalator to wherever



Miss Cut-and-Paste smile got her photo taken.
How lovely.


I bought Frank Sinatra's compilation "I Get A Kick Out Of You" and from the man himself, of course its damn good.



Sigh. Mum's sad and crying again and again I wonder what the annoying chauvinist did. I really hate whatever emotional effects he had on my mum because I will feel sad too. And that is something I really really could do without right now with all other things going on as well. But whatever, I'm going to chins-up and be positive because it's a bad tide and I'll overcome it, like I overcome everything else. Maybe then the sun will rise again for me. I wonder why she never wanted to stand up against him. Maybe because she knew the implications, as I had not.
Maybe I wouldn't be so pigheaded after all.

Can't help it, I'm a pathetic nobody with only her pride to lose (:

ofblack&white
9:58 PM

I am thoroughly annoyed by someone today.

Firstly a last minute change of plan, saying "Oh I was thinking of going to watch" made me slightly miffed so I said fine. Indecisive mind for someone and couldn't decide between the two got me exasperated, for indecisiveness is one of my pet peeves. Secondly, I did remember saying to TELL ME in the morning asap of whatever decision and plans you've made but did that someone? Oh, no.

I'm so tired of waiting for late replies and last minute things that I couldn't be bothered to be bothered. And what infuriate me most is when that someone asked if I'm in school. Like whoa! So I'm suppose to be the mind reader and know what you want and things is it?


Haha. What the effs moments like this made me think of the 23746 times I waited like mad and was stood up and got me feeling uber pathetic. Maybe I'm the one to blame. Ah well. I don't know if what I'm doing is just but my heart says it is.

ofblack&white
5:44 PM

The times when private blogs really proved to be useful.

ofblack&white
11:27 PM

What a change. I used to roll and roll on bed and sleep only an hour or two after I'm on bed but now, I got knocked out before 12. And I'm starting to wake up late after Subuh. Haha. Appetite's growing like mad also!


Big headache's on the way, I can feel it! AH. I wonder when the Four of us can meet. Probably during Chinese New Year. (: And Naz suggested Carousel again! Yeah. Fine dining twice a week does wonders to you (like the additional 483847 kg gained).


I spy a watch. I really fancy it, like crazyy.



Anyway yesterday was the first time I heard someone said, "Whalaoo the goal SO CHUN, wah like my mother sia." Haha and I saw Mr Teng act like a daddy.


Ok off soon. I crave for some fried chicken. (: And tuition today means my patience will either be tested or I'll be happy merry like Marry And Her Little Lambs.

ofblack&white
10:22 AM

Dinner. Was. FANTABULOUS. At Carousel, the old Cafe Vienna. Classy, and every other adjectives you can put to use when you're gushing.


We pwned the chocolate fountain. Coolios please. Grabbed all the dangling fruits and marshes and ran it over with chocolate. If that's not heaven, I don't know what is. LOL.


Mum was speechless.


We were rolling with laughter.


Good time, good company, good people.
Just not the one I wanted. Haha. Oh well. We can't have everything can we?


Good night. I don't know much about Valentine's, neither do I bother to celebrate it. All the exchange of gifts shennanigan. Haha I do not partake in such frivolous activities, nor do I fuss about it. Haha. Once again,

Good night (:

ofblack&white
12:09 AM

AAAHHH. I CAN'T STAND FILING. Trust my stint with Cik Asimah would force me into it. Oh man. I remember back in 2000 Ms Koh Siew Beng had to send me to the vice principal's office because I steadfdastly, stubbornly refuse to file my papers. And here I am being forced to do it because it is my job. Cruel, it is.


I spend the day at home, where Sims2, Travel&Living(Miami Ink and Globe Trekker owns please), spaghetti, marking and filing of papers ruled my life. It was quite a refreshing change, being home alone the whole day, popping Hello Pandas into my mouth and drinking water every minute. Not drabby really. (:


OH. ChaiJing is an aunt/uncle from today onwards! Her sister gave birth to a little girl named Alicia. Haha Cj don't you DARE spoil the girl. Muni's gotten 2nd in her class for Math! Am proud of her. Glad to know Muni's appreciative unlike some people haha. And she said it's because of me (: Now I know how my E Math teacher felt when I've gotten my A. Elf also messaged me results. LOL C for History? Someone's out to give Hamzah a run for his money. But bad H1 ;/ NEVERMIND. We learn from mistakes yes?


Mum's going to get THE surprise of her life tomorrow. Loves (:



I still hate filing.

ofblack&white
7:08 PM

Bah. I hate hate hate getting invalid. I will feel so weak and... invalid. =.=
Just a good thing about that is I'm able to sleep, easily. I knocked out at 22 20 hours last night. And woke up only at 0900 hours.

And still feeling sleepy haha.




Some papers to finish up before I have to do the laundry and clean up. I sound like a maid at home LOL. I so don't feel like going out but I have tuition. ) : I know I have cough but blame my parents for buying Swissbake Blueberry Cheesecakes and lots of sweet pastry that are bound to murder my throat.
But well.

I know some are going to moan and complain but I want to get myself a new watch! It caught my eye since last year and now I have the means to get it (: At least it's not a BAG right. But the watch is dark BLUE. Haha HI MICHLAI. Pretend you didn't read that.



I'll try to stay away but it'll take all my willpower.


Still slightly soggy and maudlin about last Friday.

ofblack&white
9:24 AM

Who needs a doctor when you can diagnose symptoms yourself?

For example;


Aches on body with a temperature: Fever
Not able to sing Mariah Carey's pitch: Cough and sore throat
Uneasiness of right ankle: Sprain
A thousand hot invisible knives stabbing: Heartbroken



LOL. I wonder how to tell that to my dad who wants me to the doctor while I adamantly refuse. 50 dollars for those prescriptions? No thanks.


And engulfed by,
A Darkness more than Night.


Thanks for being there Ms Lim.

ofblack&white
6:43 PM

The void, that distraction,




) :

ofblack&white
10:12 PM

I really really have a problem of falling asleep, had to listen to the likes of Kamelot Dream Theater to get me asleep. Don't ask, weird I know.



Anyway had tuition at Bedok and AMK. My cough gets worse by the second. I think by tomorrow, I will start sounding like the elf(man). Ay hope can cure.


Nothing much to say about today, just that there's too many instances I lied, not to others but to myself, trying to make myself believe. But apparently stupid things like this won't work. Sigh.


Tomorrow, can't wait. A party in the evening means I can see my dearest loveliest prettiest darling-est Michlovee. There's a reason why she's called Michlove. And probably quite a few of the TK/MJ people. Also Kat and best of all, Monica Cheng Jiamin ((: I'm sure the usual bantering process will be on the way.


My uncle got me Sims2 expansions; Pets, University and Open For Business. All for less than 30$. Don't you love Malaysia?


Mom's birthday today. ((: I wouldn't bother saying how much I love her; goes without saying. A love that's too much to describe with words.


A little prose written on my desk;

When it gets cold here
All I ever need
Was to think of you,
And I'll be warm again.

(:

ofblack&white
8:43 PM

My bones seemed to rattle. I went training; fever or no fever, cough or no cough, I was quite adamant.


I hung around with Rachel and Huiqi, caught up with whatever time we've missed in a session of cup-noodling at the shop nearby. I pretended to ride one of those cute vehicle-machines kids love, when Rachel popped in 20 cents into the slot. Damn embarassing please. An eighteen year old half-screaming and trying to find her way out of it. Hard to, since it's quite high and natural shorties have difficulties getting their (short) legs over it. Had to endure it.
To top it off Wong Shuli took a video of it. ANNOYING.



I played some badminton! I missed that sport. (: Playing with Huiqi doesn't have the kick, and Mima took over. Boy she's quite good. And looks cute with the shorter hair LOL.



The year ones are nothing short of fantastic. ((: I really see the potential, and here they are getting results this Friday and probably going where the grass is greener. I really missed the times training. With us all in the field. The quiet mouse ones like Esther and Momma and crazy idiots like Kat and Zhong. Some things never change though, like how Zhong can NEVER get the ball from my feet. Oh. Training showed me how out-of-shape I am. Five rounds of a very simple circuit just killed me. I didn't even run 4 rounds of the outer lanes with them. SHAME ON ME.


I'm still hot-headed over someone. Elf should know. I think you would probably die of curiousity if I don't tell you. HEY ZHONG. Glad to know we have something in common. You owe me a VERY LONG STORY, when I meet you.


Friendly with MJ next week. Obviously I'm not playing. At this condition?! FAT HOPE. Haha. Watching though. My body ached all over. So... paaaaaiiinn. Plus the slight fever sapped whatever energy left in me. Yah lah take the opportunity to scold me.


I can sleep today. Because I'm so so exhausted.
I hazily remembered someone asking me what I wanted for Valentines.
A thought came to me.

You.

ofblack&white
10:14 PM

Sleepless. Matin, please call me.



Lies. I've spun so many lies, it's hard to distinguish between the real and the not. But then again,
You can pretend to like someone, but you cannot pretend you don't when you do.


LOL. Wonder how long I can keep the facade before crumbling like biscuits. Must maintain a distance before I trip into the hell hole.


Think I did already.
Phhhuuuucckk.

ofblack&white
2:15 AM

For the first, I could sleep early last night. And it had to be the night Matin thought I couldn't sleep, so he buzzed at 2.


Why, I don't know, but I feel so very lethargic. Like hard to drag myself off bed despite the morethansufficient hours of sleep.


Tutoring can be quite taxing, especially when it's with primary schoolers. I'm not complaining but, they just need more attention. Sigh.


Mayyee made a new term called "heart drugs". Whatever it is lol. I'm not the one working at Watson/Guardian so I wouldn't know.

ofblack&white
11:27 AM

ofblack&white
12:32 PM

Full~

Dinner at Bagus. (: Good place for Yong Tau Fu. I treated my mum for the first time. Lovely feeling lol. Head of to Starbucks for his treat. I love Caramel Machiatto. Something that would and could keep me awake forever and a day. Singapore drawed with Thailand, 1-1. But we won overall. I lost. So there's a watch for you. Dang =.=


Finally a nice long chat with Kat to top off the day. I slept from 2 to 6, drifting from dream to dream, with you inside. Gosh.

I really suck at guitar no matter how I practice. But, must not give up. Haha.
I'll try to sleep, even after the coffee stint.


Happy 19th to Rachel Won Shuli Panda yesterday. And today? HAPPY BIRTHDAY SYAHRIL. I'll give you something nicer this year, better than last year's purple penis.

Kat wants to try a gstring. I'll get you one soon. LOL.

ofblack&white
12:54 AM

We had a talk by Abg Idrus today. Touching really, for it got some crying; the boys, Nush, Shaz yadayada. I was tearing just so slightly. His mother, quite a woman, passed away two weeks ago. She was my religious teacher since I was what, 6 or 7. He talked of the emptiness that crumbled even him, a strong man no doubt. How the Devil still persisted during the last throes of death, how the Devil whispered and stoked his anger towards his mother's death.

So many signs towards her death (no she's a picture of health always) yet He blinded all of our eyes.


I cannot say I understand how he feels, for it have not happened to me yet, and although sometimes I did ponder what will happen of me when my loved ones return to His side, it still isn't the real thing.


I don't know why I suddenly think of this. Last night I was feeling very hollow and alone, tossing and turning on bed, seeking refuge from the closest people. Yet they can do but naught. Then after today I realised my greatest mistake. That I forgot to seek refuge and ask Him for help. He's the only one who provides, who truly love us, who forgives, who does everything and more. I always forget, and think of the world.


Imagine; be like a bird. Does it look left and right up in the sky when it flies? It swoops down just gently suddenly and catches a worm. A bird have no use for maps, yet it knows where to go. Why? Because He provide guidance.


He once said, "Walk to Me and I'll run to you."

Maybe if I could forget my petty troubles in life and aim for the Nether, He'll fill me up, so I'll no longer feel empty. Maybe I need it after all. God is the only One who could fill the annoying void that probes.

You think?

ofblack&white
2:33 PM

Sorry about conciseness. Apparently someone doesn't like it ;p


I'm sorry if I am very fickle. Apparently I'm a girl. Planned to go Bugis for the 1715 show but we ended up at Cine. Haha I suppose framed glasses doesn't work for him and the show was actually quite late. I thank God for useful though annoying(he called me in the middle of the night) creations like Matin to check for movie timings.


Apocalypto's a really good watch. Maybe for people like us who love epic shows. The Mayan words are quite soothing to one's ears. Walked about and such, window shop here there. Poor boy sprained his ankle during some training so he limped. Does bring back memories. He had a coughing fit too, coarse voice, as if he'd reached puberty again. LOL. Oh, he said he does like the book. Good! (:



Oh. I hope Michlai will not see these few words but, I've bought a bag! ((: It's a nice olive/beige tote from Projectshop. I like it, it's a reversible bag. Quite a bargain too I should think. Really nice. Ya I know a few of you will sigh but the hell haha.


I actually thought of going MacRitchie for the Road Race but its too far and damned early to. Thankfully I had sense and decided against it. Besides, the coughing fiend didn't go anyway. So yea.


Had a good early part of the day. Alone at home, made use of the DVD player in the hall. Played Live At Budokan. Gosh, the TV rattled hard against Myung's bass man. So cool can. Blasting it at 11 in the morning.


Ok Naz, long enough? HAHA. I actually felt a fever coming.


You'd want me to move on I'm sure.

I already have.

ofblack&white
8:54 PM

Peculiar dreams yet again. Maybe listening to angsty-ridden songs by Metallica before sleeping does that to you.


I rushed to Bedok for tuition, only to found out that Nur had prefects meeting till 1530, and I suppose she will be weary after well... meeting. =.= It's fun camwhoring with three midgets-who-have-outgrown-me. Like not fair. The girls are like above 165 and he's 170. Really annoying. I'm being ridiculed by them. What the hell. I played scissorspaperstone with my grandma, loser takes the tenner. She cheated I tell you, just so she could get me to take the money.
I hate taking money from her, feel bad I will.


Street cancelled because of lack of response. So sad, I thought I could burn some of the fats accumulated the past months.
But not a bad thing, for I had company at Tamp.


So off to Tamp I went. Walked around with elf, Anna and Baywatch. Times to get a card and a book, then I contemplated on a bag. After two of them left, we went CS' Sembawang and Score was sold out ) : Thought I could watch it over the weekend but noo, it had to be soldout. Haha. I forgot where's Starbucks so I had to settle for Coffeebean's Caramel Frap. Right now, the elf is immune to sad faces. This is bad! I need to find a way to emotionally blackmail you to get my way. LOL.


Went for a carwash aft with Mom, with Class 95 on. We were wailing to That's Why and Quando(x3). Caterwauling in the car was fun, she ATTEMPTED to sing Feeling Good but I guess she failed. Mom's been at it since we reached home. Whenever she (tried to) sing, I groaned as loudly as I could.
He's away but I don't know if I like it. Like you said, he's my dad after all.


Apocalypto tomorrow hopefully.



There's a Devil waiting outside your door.
And he's bucking and braying and pawing at the floor.

ofblack&white
11:39 PM

Woke up early enough, and thus rewarded myself with a MacD breakfast with iPod dearest. Funny affair with the same black cat with rolls of tummy fat. I saw him around so I sat cross-legged on the floor, like the fool I am. He happily catwalked to my lap, stretched and slept for a good ten minutes of my life. And it refused to budge when I nudged it. Funny looks I got from passers-by, and I can't even carry it due to its rolls of tummy fat.
The first time I was harassed by a cat.


Finished London Bridges and its good, I shit you not. I can't remember the book Ain recommended me. But the trip down to the local library is a must soon.


I'm mighty amused by all the annoying stupid ramblings about me and my 'boyfriend'. ROLLS EYES PLEASE (especially at Anna). I do wish they would stop, for it's a funny thought, you know. As I often wondered about it. You know, the impossible meandyou situation. Got me laughing at other's ridiculous speculations and such. Ah well, the things people do for entertainment. Even the new 'hot' news about this year two couple got so much attention. Like what. I don't know if it's just me or that the current year two batch are bored to their bones.


Anyway boyfriend coughed like a person just contracted tuberculosis(no pun to those who REALLY have it). Better drink ALOT of water before I drown you. See, so concerned for your well being then you hurt me again (sad face).


I hope street for tomorrow is ons! With the year ones (: Then I can get to know every single one better.


So please, excuse me while I tend to how I feel.

ofblack&white
8:26 PM